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Mattress in the Middle

- - -

"LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!" Dick hollered with urgency, catching Wally passing him in the corner of his eye and Roy as he came up on his left. They were jetting off with all their agility power up the tall staircase, nearly tripping as they hopped onto the second floor and continued their life dependent streak. Paintings and doors blurred past them on the walls as the wood and carpet did under their feet, the halls seemed to get longer and longer as they tried to break through them.


"Oh man!"




"Shut UP Harper! Keep going Wally! We're almost-"

"Open the door OPEN THE DOOR!" Wally squealed as he nearly toppled past said door. He tugged at it frantically. "IT'S LOCKED!"

"You have to PUSH it!" Dick ordered, falling in quickly after Wally and Roy and all but slamming the door behind him. He pressed his back against the wood as his chest heaved for oxygen, staring wide eyed across his bedroom. "I. Can't believe. That you spilled raviolis. All over Bruce."

"It was an accident, I swear." Wally's voice shook.

"He was pi-i-issed!" Roy finally busted a gut, bending over a little and clasping his knees to catch his breath and laugh. "Oh-HO man, okay, just for that, I'm buying you Port of Subs next week, pick a day any day. Wheeew…"

"I'm not leaving this room."

Dick gave a deep sigh. "Wally…"

"I'm like, scared for my life, Dick!"

"You know Bats doesn't kill people," Roy snorted.

"No, but he's good at scaring the crap out of them and making them paranoid. And that's worse!" Wally insisted, eyeing the bedroom door.

"So what? You want to stay in here all night or something?" Dick asked reluctantly.

"Pretty please? And dude, it'd be like, more fun too, ya know?" Wally said desperately. "Roy could even stay, too!"


"See? He's cool with it!"

Dick's gaze shifted between his friends before he threw his arms up and marched further into his room. "Oh sure. Why not? Have fun on the floor."

Roy made a point of cuffing Wally on the head. "Thanks pal. Nothin' more relaxing than the fricking carpet."

"I can get you some pillows," Dick muttered, strolling around his bed. He grabbed for two of the many pillows at the head of the bed and tossed them both to the other boys. "And I'm pretty sure Alfred can get some extra-hey!"

"Mine," Roy intoned as he ripped the comforter off the bed and wound it around himself. He delivered a placid glance in Dick's direction before twirling on his heel and stalking off. "All mine."

Dick face-palmed. "Fine. Whatever. Wally, do you need-"

"Nope!" As Wally yanked another sheet off Dick's mattress and followed Roy's example, all Dick could do was half glare after them as they bunkered down onto the carpet. Dick heaved an inward sigh and flopped down onto his bed, grabbing a pillow. He closed his eyes and reveled in the calm silence that followed. However short-lived it always was.

- - -

"For the record, Dick, the floor is gross. I don't care how much Alfred shampooed it or whatever. It ain't right and it's disgusting. I'm sleeping. Here."

"In my BED?!" Dick blurted out. One of his eyebrows twitched wildly. "Why don't you just go back to one of the empty rooms and sleep?"

"Eh. Too lazy. I'm already situated…so's Wally," Roy jeered.

Dick blinked as he slowly turned to face Wally, who simply grinned at him. "I missed you, buddy." Dick scowled as Roy chuckled.

"Whatever," Dick finally huffed as he flopped back down, "If any parts of you guys touch me--"

"In your dreams," Roy snorted, turning his back to Dick as he pulled the comforter over his head. "Just shut up so I can get some shut eye. Or I'll lock you in the bathroom again with Bloody Mary." Roy threw Dick an impish grin. "Remember Bloody Mary?"

"Shut up," Dick dismissed immediately with venom. He did not want to dig into his past about things that he…wasn't necessarily proud of. He muttered a string of curses under his breath and closed his eyes.

"Diiiiick," Wally's whispered rang out into the darkness.

"What?" Dick growled back, squeezing his eyes tighter.

"I'm hungry."

"Good for you."

"Can I get a snack?"

"Knock yourself out."

"I don't want to go alone. This place gives me the creeps at night…Batman could be in that corner watching us right now and I wouldn't even know it."

Dick grimaced. God Forbid. "He's not. Just go."

"Oh my God," Roy snapped in a harsh whisper, "If you two don't shut the fuck up I'm going to beat your asses. And Wally, quit actin' so gay."

"You're gay!" Wally suddenly yelled. A sharp grunt wheezed from Dick's throat as Wally rolled over him, putting himself between Roy and him, and kicked Roy out of bed, causing him to hit the floor with a loud thump.


Dick sat up in bed and kicked off the sheets as Roy shot up and rubbed his shoulder. He glowered at Wally. "Was that you?!"

Wally blinked back at him with his wide blue eyes, feigning innocence until he erupted into laughter. "Nyahahahaha!"

Roy's agitated growl could barely be heard above the cackling as he sat back on the mattress. Only to be pushed off again. Thump. "AUGH!"


"Oh ya think that's funny you little queer bastard?!" Roy lunged toward him. "Wally you're so fucking dead--" Dick's mouth twitched as Roy was, for a third time kicked off and away, and Wally settled down into snickering. Roy sat up slowly, his visage pure malice as his celery hued eyes seemed to flare in the dark.

"Oh my God your hair! AHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Wally smacked a palm into his forehead as he fell back laughing.

Dick's mouth squirmed wildly as he smothered his own laughter at seeing Roy's disarrayed hair along with his absolutely furious expression.

"That tears it. Your ass is mine, West."

"Oh I do love me an assertive--" Wally cut off with a squeal as Roy tackled into him with a roar.

Dick whipped back and flattened himself against his headboard, blinking once before moving to pull them apart. "Hey! Come on, cut it out!"

"Not in the face! Not in the face!" Wally yelped as he folded his arms over his face and head to shield himself.

"YOU TWO NEED TO CHILL OUT!" Dick shouted over them when he finally manage to yank Roy back and shove him away. "You're going to wake up the entire--Roy. Roy. PUT THAT LAMP DOWN!"

- - -

Alfred looked up sharply when two almost instantaneous thuds reverberated from the floor above the kitchen, followed by a chorus of voices and shouts. Bruce did the same, narrowing his eyes as he stood from the table, forgetting about his tea in an instant.

"OW! HEY!"





"Oh my," Alfred muttered as he continued to gaze up at the ceiling, not noticing as Bruce quietly made his way out.

- - -

"AAAH! Dick, help! He's gone mad!"

"HARPER! Nngh--give me back my LAMP!"

"NO! MOVE, Grayson!"

"You're NOT hitting him with that thing!"

"It ain't like he won't be all better in five minutes!"



"Let me at 'im! You always let him get away with the most annoyin' bullshit! Punkass scrawny little--!"

Bruce swung the door open wide and took an inward step, scowling but freezing when he absorbed the room.

The atmosphere was feather filled. Many hollow and torn pillow cases lay discarded on the floor. The three were ruffled, feathers coated on their hair and pajamas. Dick and Roy were standing on the bed and had been trying to pry one of the long lamps from each other, and Wally was standing right behind Dick. He had the right arm of his footy pajamas torn right off and a pillow case draped over his head. They all stared back at him in gaping shock, frozen in their stances.

Even with all this, Bruce only asked one question. "…Why are you in the same bed?"

Wally grinned sheepishly and waved back at Bruce, huffing a feather off his nose. Roy slowly sank down into the mattress on his knees and pulled the closest blanket over himself. Dick had never felt his face heat up like it did at that moment before in his entire life.

- - -
God knows why, but imagining Roy stealing Dick’s comforter and saying “Mine--all mine” cracks me up. This is so full of weird and crack, anyway....

And el oh el, Bruce walked in on them. Scandalous~

Teen Titans belong to DC Comics.
THIS belongs to Mischief.
Add a Comment:
blaze-the-cat07 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
Voldymort800 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011
"PUT THAT LAMP DOWN!" lol best line ever
ArkhamLady Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011
Oh man, this just made me laugh so hard xD
ClementimeValentines Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"…Why are you in the same bed?"

Now, think of that + they're 16-year-old.

Sockless-Sheep Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010   General Artist
This is my absolute favourite part :XD:


:+favlove: :boogie:

~ Sheep xx
MischiefWriter Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
>xD Thanks!
Sockless-Sheep Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010   General Artist
No - actually THANK YOU :XD: This makes me laugh everytime I read it XP You write these 3 so damn well!

~ Sheep xx
MischiefWriter Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010
Well, I'll say thank you anyway to remain being polite. So, once more...thank you. xP
Sockless-Sheep Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2010   General Artist
Hehee :meow:
...thank YOU |3

~ Sheep xx
Reavien Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2010
First of all, the image of the three of them sitting around the table GAPING at Bruce, then similtamiously TAKING OFF at full speed--chairs flying and everything--is absolutely hilarious. >.>

And also the end. Of course the end. xD Roy hiding under the blanket. Aaah.

... <xD I finally get to read all your dang frickin stuff. *rolls away*
MischiefWriter Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2010
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. xDD And yay! 8D Thanks Speedeh~
Reavien Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2010

Charm2Be Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2009
:3 I love this chapterrr.
xD "You're gay! *kick* NYAHAHAHA!"
MischiefWriter Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2009
xD! <3
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
December 26, 2009
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